Moan for me like Helen Keller
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She's the barista slut.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
