If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
