she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
love makes seman taste better
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
