ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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