dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
