Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize