we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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