I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
