if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
