Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
