there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
