Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
