I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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