If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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