He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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