He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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