my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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