I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
