I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
