i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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