his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize