"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
