my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
