3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
