You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
