If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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