Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize