Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
