You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
