I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
