Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
