Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
