hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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