I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
