Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
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I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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