I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
