The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
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I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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