If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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