Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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