i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
