He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
