You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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