Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
