I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
