The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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