If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize