the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
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okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
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The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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