You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
