Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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