My friends, they love my intelligence
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
