Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
