i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
