is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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