Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize